


Missing Pieces

by JediintheTwilight



Category: Reylo - Fandom, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, The Last Jedi
Genre: F/M, Force connections don’t respect privacy, Loss of Virginity, NSFW, Nightmares, Resolved Sexual Tension, Virgin Kylo Ren, Virgin Rey, force connection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:13:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22475410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JediintheTwilight/pseuds/JediintheTwilight
Summary: Rey is having a hard time dealing with the aftermath of Kylo’s invitation to join him.  She takes a “mental health” day that takes an unexpected turn.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 5
Kudos: 33





	Missing Pieces

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place in the days immediately following the Battle of Crait and the escape of the Resistance.

On Anjan Kloss  
Rey shrugged through the overgrowth clogging the path she was on. A bead of sweat trickled down between her shoulder blades and made her pause to lift the material from the back of her neck and fan herself.  
Nobody else had mentioned the humidity, but she was a desert rat, and it bothered her tremendously. She pushed aside the large frond of a fern and stepped deeper into the jungle.  
She moved cautiously through the shadows in search of the stream she could hear gurgling nearby. Its quiet murmuring soothed her like nothing ever had.  
Locating it, she followed it until she was well away from any path that she could see. Her eyes searching for a clear, flat place. She had been looking for a couple of hours now and she was running out of daylight.  
Finally, she found tiny clearing. Not much bigger than 5-foot across. The growth was thick all around, but there was a break in the canopy overhead that allowed her to glimpse the sky. One single star was shining like a beacon above her.  
Opening her senses to the jungle around her she searched through the force for any danger but found nothing. The jungle was peaceful, something she hoped would in turn bring peace to her inner self.  
For several days now she had been running on adrenaline and power naps. Setting up a new base on Anjan Kloss had been strenuous work, but it meant she was too busy to think which was a blessing. She had slept in quick snatches only when exhaustion demanded it. It was better if she didn’t think. Because she knew where her thoughts would go if given their freedom.  
Quickly she pitched her small shelter. Fumbling with the guide rope knots in the rapidly falling darkness. She wouldn’t worry about a fire. There were no dangerous animals, and the night wouldn’t be cold.  
She tossed in her sleeping roll inside the shelter she moved to the water’s edge. The humidity in the air was so thick it made breathing difficult and that combined with exertion of the hike and making camp made her uncomfortably warm.  
Rey set down on a large rock beside the stream and kicked her boots off. She slipped her feet into the cool water enjoying the sensation as the water lapped at her ankles. Water had been so scarce on Jakku that until she had left, she could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times she bathed in more than a basin of water.  
Making an easy decision, she stood and stripped her clothing off. She waded into the water until it swirled around her knees, then sat down and began rinsing her clothing. Moving to the bank she spread them over some tree limbs to dry before moving back to the center of the stream and immersing herself.  
Lying back, she dunked her head under the water and scrubbed her fingers through her hair. She let the current fan her hair around her and concentrated on the sound of her own heartbeat in her ears. Mentally slowing her breathing until the heart rate followed.  
She watched a few lightning flies darting among the reeds at water’s edge. Feeling more relaxed than she had in a long while, she moved toward the shore. Leaving her clothes to dry she pulled on some clean nether garments and crawled into the shelter. The opened windows allowed a little air to move across her damp skin, and finally, she felt cool enough to be comfortable.

Sitting down on her mat, she waited for her mind to settle. She held very still concentrating on slowing her breathing into a sleep rhythm. Listening to the sounds of the nocturnal creatures in the brush around her and feeling their hum of life. She tried to gather the force around her in a Jedi relaxation technique, but true peace eluded her.  
Now that there were no other distractions, her thoughts turned of their own accord to the very thing she had been avoiding since they left Crait 3 days ago. She knew she had to face what had happened and it was for this reason that she had told Leia that she wanted to go alone into the jungle and meditate. She didn’t know how much longer she could hold herself together, and she wanted no witnesses to her breakdown.  
She pictured Luke as she had seen him through the force. She tried to reach out for his presence, but he was either unable or unwilling to make himself known. Her grief washed over her in waves, and she realized that losing him had been like losing her family all over again. How would she ever finish her training? How would she ever forgive herself for not being there to stop his death? She should have listened when Luke told her not to go. Luke had been right; it most definitely had not gone as she had planned.  
She had felt every part of Luke’s final confrontation with Ben, No, with Kylo, she mentally corrected herself. The part of Kylo that was Ben had been nowhere in that fight. She had listened like an eavesdropper as Luke drew the Kylo side out to show Rey exactly what he had seen, to show her how wrong she had been. As Luke stalled for time to give the resistance a chance to escape, she strained to hear Ben’s voice and had cringed hearing Kylo instead. Suffered at the hatred on Kylo’s face, and in his voice as he swore to destroy her.

As quickly as she had pictured his frightful scowl a new picture showed itself in her mind. A much softer gaze, but no less passionate. Eyes shining with unshed tears searching her face intently waiting for an answer. A hand willingly offered to her. Achingly close enough to reach out and take. She pictured the hard swallow he had made as words he didn’t know how to say had died unspoken. Unspoken, but not unheard. She had read those words so clearly on his face, and heard them in his thoughts. And she knew. Knew exactly what he wanted her to know.  
And comparing the two faces, she knew that she had caused that hatred by rejecting his offer. And she knew that he was lost to her forever.  
That thought was too much to bear. And giving herself to the sorrow, she collapsed onto her mat as the tears began to trickle down her face. The flood gates now opened wide and the guilt laden sobs wracked her body. She cried out into the night all the pain and loss and loneliness she couldn’t share with anyone else.  
How could she tell anybody in the resistance that she was mourning Kylo/Ben? She had given up the one thing that she wanted more than anything in the universe to save her friends. And while mentally she knew the choice to be right for the good of the resistance and freedom, emotionally she knew it had cost her more than anyone would know. More than she had to give.

She cried until there was nothing left to give. There were no tears left, it seemed, because she had used all the water in her body. Her eyes burned like they had after being caught in a Jakku sandstorm. The muscles around her ribs ached from her ragged breathing. Or maybe it was just her heart slowly disintegrating one cell at a time to be sure she suffered like she deserved. She lay on the mat too weak to move, to drained to care, and too tired to sleep.  
Dimly she became aware of another sound. And as she concentrated on it, it seemed to grow louder. The sound seemed like breathing, but so ragged and uneven she thought someone must be dying. Drawing herself up on one elbow she turned her head trying to decide where the poor soul was.  
“Rey”. Distinctly she heard someone whisper her name. Who could have found her, and what trouble could have brought them?  
She crawled to the mouth of the shelter and stood up. But as she stepped forward, she knew immediately something was very wrong. Instead of a soft carpet of grass and leaves, her foot touched hard cold decking. And instead of warm humid air she felt her skin prickle in the chill air of a life support system. The lightning flies had been replaced by the steady glow of com panel lights.  
Their eerie glow gave just enough light to see as Rey moved cautiously forward trying to make sense of her whereabouts. Stepping deeper into the room she realized it was a sleeping quarter, and with growing trepidation she began to suspect whose quarters they were. She had no idea how she had come to be here. But here she was. In Kylo’s quarters, in the heart of a First Order ship.

Her bare feet made no sound as she tiptoed forward. Finally coming to a stop at the side of a bulkhead bunk. Her eyes adjusting well to the light now, she made out the broad chest and shoulders of a large man. The dark, silky, black hair falling across the man’s forehead left no doubt who she stood beside. It was a face that had haunted her dreams for a long while now. A face as familiar as her own. And yet somehow, it was different tonight. Softer and younger in his sleep. And Rey chided herself for being surprised that he was human enough to need to sleep sometimes too.  
Kylo stirred restlessly in his sleep. And Rey recognized his painful intake of breath as matching her own. As if he too had cried or maybe screamed until his throat was raw and aching. Again, he moved, fighting his sheet like it held him prisoner. Mumbling unintelligibly. A sound somewhere between a moan and a whimper breaking the silence. As his hand moved out from beneath his sheet, Rey realized that Kylo was once again without a shirt and she blushed at the unintentional intimacy of their situation. She became acutely aware that she was still only wearing her nether garments. The force connection seemed to care little for modesty.  
Rey’s eyes followed the line of a jagged scar from Kylo’s face down over his shoulder and she winced to see that it was still raw in places. And she groaned thinking that she was the one who had given him the scar. She never wanted to cause anyone pain. Not even an enemy. And Kylo was not an enemy. She didn’t know what to classify his as, but that name didn’t fit. He could have killed her, but he hadn’t. Could have tortured her but wouldn’t. So where did that put him?

She groaned again as he rolled onto his back and the scar became more plainly visible. Even though her groan had been little more a whisper it seemed to cause Kylo more distress. His head rocked back and forth on his pillow and his hand fluttered at his side. It almost seemed to be reaching toward her. This time Rey caught the word she had missed before......”please”.  
Cut to the heart Rey could no longer stand by and leave him in this nightmare. She lowered herself to perch precariously on the edge of the bunk and gave into an impulse she had denied for too long. Ever so gently she reached out to brush the lock of hair off his forehead. A little tingle running through her hand as she did so.  
Making soft shushing noises she said “it’s okay, I’m here. I promised, you, you are not alone.” It’s all right now” she whispered. “Just rest easy.”  
She placed her hand on his chest, feeling the rise and fall of his breathing, as it seemed to ease and slow. His body relaxed and stilled under her touch. She leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on his hair. Drawing back to study his face, she reached toward his forelock again.  
Quicker than the strike of a sand viper, Kylo’s hand encircled her wrist. His other arm grasping the hand on his chest. His eyes snapped open and he stared into Rey’s face.  
“What are you doing?” he demanded. “What are you doing here?”  
“I…I… I” stammered Rey. Her fear making rational thought impossible. She couldn’t explain it to herself, let alone him.  
But as the question hung in the air, they both seemed to stop and ponder. What was she doing here? If Snoke had been the one bridging their minds, and he was gone, how were they still connected. And even more important, why did the connection feel stronger rather than weaker? Why did it feel like a signal jammer had been removed?  
Still staring at her intently, waiting for an answer, Kylo transferred her wrists so that he easily grasped both in one of his large hands. Then he pushed himself to a sitting position. The sheet dropped from his shoulders to pool in his lap. Rey’s gulp had more to do with what the sheet threatened to reveal than it did with her being caught.  
His anger and frustration were evident as he growled again “What are you doing here?”  
“I heard a n-n-noise. Someone called me” stuttered Rey “and when I went to check, I ended up here.”  
“But why are you still here? He questioned. “Decide you and your traitor friends would be safer if you killed me in my sleep?”  
“No!” Cried Rey astonished. “I would never do something like that.”  
“So, what were you going to do? Wake me up and then kill me? You should have run when you had the chance.” Kylo sneered.  
“No Ben, I - I thought you were in trouble and I, I just wanted to make sure you were all right. I wouldn’t hurt you.”  
“You already have”. Kylo’s whisper was so soft I that Rey wasn’t sure if he’d said it or she’d read the thought in his mind  
“Oh Ben, I’m so sorry!” Rey moaned in despair. “That’s not what I wanted. What choice did I have? I am as trapped as you.”  
Her voice quivered, her emotion all the more evident in the rasp of her sore throat.  
The tears from earlier brimmed in her eyes and went splashing down her face. And her shoulders jerked as she heaved a deep shuttering breath, trying to regain her composure.  
The word trapped brought a Kylo up short and tentatively he reached out through the force trying to comprehend what she meant. Instead of understanding, he was crushed under the weight of her agony and her longing. His own face staring back out at him through the rush of her emotion.  
He scrutinized her face hard now and noticed the puffy swelling around her eyes. The blotches of color in her cheeks, the raspy quality of her breathing. It was painfully obvious she had been crying for a long time this night. Over him it seemed. The thought both elated and distressed him.  
And the longer he looked into her eyes the harder she cried.  
Kylo’s grasp loosened on Rey’s wrists and he held his arms up and opened, releasing her from captivity. Offering her the option to run away. The change from Kylo to Ben obvious in his gaze. But instead of turning to flee, Rey looked at his open arms and dissolved into them, falling limply across his lap.  
“Hold me” she begged.  
Bewildered, but somehow pleased at the same time, he wrapped his arms around her and cradled her to his chest. He slid his arm under her legs to lift her more securely onto his lap. Some part of him registering as he did so that her legs were bare. And he wondered exactly what she had been doing when the force connected them.  
As she curved to fit snuggly against him he felt a surge that had nothing to do with being angry or hurt.

He rocked gently back and forth shh-shhing against her hair. “Please don’t cry, he whispered into her ear. And instinctively he pressed his lips to her temple in a gentle kiss.  
He drew back briefly and then leaned forward to kiss her head again at the exact moment she looked up to see his face, shocked by his tenderness.  
And without either of them intending it, their lips met, and it seemed that the universe exploded.  
There was the briefest moment of hesitation as each waited for the other to object and then their lips crashed together hard and deliberately. And for an eternity the kiss consumed them.  
Rey reached up to twine her fingers into Ben’s hair. Partly pulling him closer, partly holding him so he couldn’t leave.  
The gesture had a profound effect on Ben, and he groaned into the kiss, his body trembling. Grinding his mouth against hers in passion. Rey gasped in pleasure and as her lips parted, Ben’s tongue darted in to touch hers. Both of them lost in the rushing flames, their tongues began a duel extremely different than their previous ones.

Ben’s fingertips traced down Rey’s shoulders, skimming over her soft skin. Stroking the length of her arms and continuing to follow the path as arms met legs. And again, the bare skin made him wonder at her lack of clothing. Not that he was complaining. And suddenly he found himself inexplicably smirking in the middle of the kiss. A soft single chuckle broke the kiss as he pulled back to search Rey’s face.  
He stared at her intently expecting her to realize what had happened and draw away. Her questioning, hungry gaze showed that she was completely aware of what was going on and didn’t want to stop.  
The joy of that brought a bright and genuine smile to his face. Maybe the first one he’d ever smiled in his life.  
“Ben?” Rey asked, “What are you laughing at?”  
Ben smiled and glanced down at her scantily clad body. Chuckling again he said, “I’m just questioning your choice of armor when you go out to battle”.  
Rey looked at herself giggling and then at Ben and said “You haven’t got any room to talk. You don’t have any armor at all.”

The realization hit them both that the only thing separating them was a flimsy sheet. The humor evaporated and the temperature of the room seemed to increase by leaps and bounds. Rey drew a shuddering breath, and Ben swallowed hard.  
They fell together again in that instant. The rest of the world forgotten.  
Ben kissing first her lips then along the line of Rey’s jaw. Nuzzling into her neck and inhaling the scent of her as she panted softly beside his ear.  
Rey’s hand reached out to cup Ben’s face and pull him back up for another kiss before taking her turn to place a row of kisses down Ben’s throat. She sucked in gently at the base of his neck. Taking the gentlest nip at the skin between neck and collarbone. Ben’s gasp thrilled her, and she increased the pressure.  
Ben’s hands grasped her arm like he was clinging to a lifeline. His thumb traced in ever widening circles on her arm and suddenly it brushed against the side of Rey’s breast causing Rey to draw in a quick intake of air. Hissing against his throat as the air rushed in.  
She shivered in pleasure and the movement shook Ben to the core. She held her breath waiting for the next touch. The desire pulsing hard in her veins.  
But Ben had stopped, gasping for air just like she was.  
“Rey” he growled through gritted teeth, “if you want to stop it has to be now. You have to go now”  
But Rey leaned forward to kiss him again, tongue tracing the outline of his lips, before replying. “I’m not going anywhere”.  
And Ben was lost!  
He lowered his hand to reach under the bottom of Rey’s shirt, but Rey simplified the problem by grasping her shirt hem and pulling it over her head, exposing herself to Ben’s hungry gaze.  
He licked his dry lips and drew in a ragged breath, bringing his hand up to cup the underside of one breast and draw one thumb over a rapidly hardening nipple. He dipped his head to drop a kiss on the tip and the flicked his tongue over the bud.  
Rey moaned and pushed his head closer, encouraging him. He suckled greedily dividing his attention equally between both breasts. His fingers plucking and pulling at her nipples. Rey’s soft cries were music to his ears.  
Ben spent several minutes worshiping the peaks. Rey shifted as he did so, moving so that she could lie back on the bed. Fingers tangling through his hair. Her head rolling on his pillow now.  
Ben traced a trail of fiery kisses over her belly to her waist and then worked his way back up to her chin. He stretched his length out beside her. His hand roaming freely over her torso and skimming over her ribs. Rey squirming involuntarily at the passionate tickle.  
Ben’s fingers dipped under the waistband of her nether garment. His fingers tugging at the restriction and Rey obligingly lifted her hips so he could drag the fabric away.  
He dropped the cloth beside the bed and stroked his hand back up the outside of her thigh. It left path of fire in its wake.  
Rey’s hands were busy too. One hand tracing pattern’s over Ben’s chest. The other caressing his back.  
Rey’s seeking hand suddenly met an obstacle in the form of the sheet. Ben simply slid a strong arm under her hips. He lifted her long enough to drag the sheet out from under her and kick it down to the bottom of the bunk.  
And finally, the were together. Their naked lengths stretched out, side by side, and their skin radiating a heat that each could feel.  
Ben allowed his gaze to travel fully over Rey. More than pleased by what he saw. The swell of her breasts and the gentle curve of her stomach. The muscles under her skin hardened by years of hard physical work and harsh conditions. He spied the tangle of curls in the valley where her legs met and reached forward to stroke them. Fingers dipping into her sweetness.  
Rey too was studying Ben. She had always known he was large man as he had towered over her. But lying here beside him, he was absolutely immense. She was very conscious of his head above hers and her toes grazing his shin. His strong muscled chest lit in the dim light rose and fell with rapid breaths. And Rey paused her hand over his heart, savoring the feel of it beating beneath her fingers. A joy bloomed in her heart to feel its strong pulse.  
Rey felt no shame under Ben’s smoldering gaze. It felt so right to be here. So natural. As if it had always been meant to be this way. But she felt curiously shy in regard to looking at Ben. This was new territory for her, and she tipped her forehead against his chest to hide the glances she snuck from under her eyelashes. Shy or not, she liked what she saw.  
The only flaw in sight was the angry red line left by her light saber and now she traced its path. Bathing it in kisses. At the end of the scar she paused to mirror his actions. She flicked her tongue over the nub of Ben’s chest and was rewarded with a groan of pleasure.  
The downward path of her hand was much slower than Ben’s sure one. But it just made it a deliciously sweet torture for Ben. When her fingernails finally danced over him, he thought he might melt and turn to liquid on the spot.  
Rey’s hand finally encircled him, cool gentle skin around burning, hard steel. Now it was Ben’s turn to hiss in ecstasy. His movements stopped as he concentrated on the sensations she was creating. This was all completely new to him, and for a moment he simply savored the sensory overload.  
Her hand stroked his length, gently like she was afraid to hurt him. And he reached to circle her hand with his just long enough to tighten her grip. When she did, his groan of pleasure was deep and long. Slowly his fingers resumed their own dance and soon Rey was quivering in his arms. Raising herself to meet his questing touch. Her obvious enjoyment and need fueled his own mood, Ben could feel the longing building inside himself.  
Ben paused. Pulling himself back from the edge of whatever cliff he’d been about to go over. He made a mental note that he really needed to work on some self-control exercises. It would be too easy to let go. As a young man, the Jedi training that relationships were forbidden had been deeply ingrained in him. He had never really sought one out. Even after he had grown up enough to disagree with the teaching, he had remained alone. As the Mighty Kylo Ren he could have had ample opportunity to take advantage of those willing to share their favors for a chance at a piece of his power. But the thought left him cold. He wanted no part of their self-serving affections. He was still hopeful of finding someone who wanted him for who he was, not what he was. And, although he would never admit it to anyone, he really wanted someone to love him the way his parents loved each other. For all of the problems in their tempestuous relationship, their love and passion for one another has been deeply obvious. Ben wanted it all or nothing. That didn’t mean Ben was completely ignorant. The older boys in training with him at the Jedi temple had been most eager to share what they knew or thought they knew. And the coarse stories and jesting of the Knights of Ren left little to the imagination. But coarse wasn’t what he wanted for Rey. And knowledge wasn’t the same as experience.  
Now was the moment of truth... “Rey, I’ve never” … He started falteringly just as Rey started to say “Ben, I haven’t ever... and both stopped, grinning, feeling a little silly. Both relishing in the fact that they were the first, last, and only to be in this special connection. Rey reached up to place a finger on Ben’s lips silencing him. “Then we train together for once,” she said smiling.  
She shifted her hips more fully beneath Ben. And he balanced above her, memorizing her face. Rey’s arm slipped in between them to reach down and grasp him once more, guiding him to her center. The heat and moisture radiating from her inviting him inside. This time it was her turn to beg. “Ben, please”? She begged. And Ben, needing no further encouragement, sank himself into her warm, willing flesh.  
Rey stiffened momentarily at the contact, and cried out softly. Ben cursed himself mentally for his eagerness. As much as he wanted to rush, to dive into the moment, Ben forced himself almost painfully to slow down. Sinking himself by small measurements into her velvet warmth. Her body stretching and squeezing of its own accord in just the right places to make this a home he never wanted to leave.  
And then, she was moving herself beneath him. Rocking her hips. Alternately pushing against him and falling back. Ben joined in the dance as old as time. Neither of them at all self-conscious, but rather completely confident as nature pushed thought out and instinct took over.  
Time and again, Ben withdrew and returned. Slowly at first and then increasing his rhythm. And Rey met him thrust for thrust. Wrapping one leg around his hips in order to open herself better to him.  
There was no need for words. It was enough to be together, to touch and be touched. And intermingled with Rey’s soft cries of delight were Ben’s deeper moans of ecstasy.  
Unconsciously, Rey began to push her hips harder against Ben. He felt so good inside her. She was greedy In her all consuming need for him. Slow and easy wasn’t enough any more. Unspoken, but in mutual agreement they crashed together in earnest.  
Rey could feel a tingling at her core that seemed to grow with each sensual stroke. There seemed to be a spot inside that needed to be touched. Somehow, she knew that if she could just take Ben deep enough, he could touch that spot the way he had already touched her soul. Ben felt the need too, pushing his length into her like a drowning mad reaching for a lifeline.  
There was no stopping now. Primeval forces controlling them like a leaf caught in a current. Taking them ever more swiftly toward a raging waterfall. And then suddenly, they were over the edge of the waterfall. Falling, falling together.  
“Ben, oh my Ben. Be with me” Rey cried into the darkness. The arms encircling Ben gripped him so tightly that, even in the midst his own fall, he was surprised at their strength.  
Her use of the name he had thought he hated suddenly became a source of joy for him. “My Ben” she had said as though he belonged to her alone. And in truth he did. No one else had looked beneath his mask like she did. Looked to find his inner self. And as Rey gave herself to him so completely, so too he gave himself to her. Claiming her as his and his alone.  
“Yes! Rey! I’m with you. I’ll always be with you.” he whispered as his body stiffened. And the foundations of the earth seemed to crumble beneath him. Her arms seemed the only thing keeping him tied to this world. He collapsed willingly into them as he waited for his breathing to slow and fog to clear from his mind.  
Mindful now not to crush her beneath his weight, Ben rolled carefully to his side, pulling Rey with him. He delft a deep sense of loss as he withdrew from her. He slid an arm beneath her and wrapped it around her shoulder. She curled willingly into the crook of his arm, her head resting on his chest, and listened to the thud of his heart under her ear. He kissed the top of her head softly as she sighed contentedly, snuggling closer. Before either of them could speak, exhaustion claimed them both. They slept, bodies entwined, a sleep of healing and rest that had eluded them for so long.


End file.
